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Speech at the Launch of Anam Cara National Awareness Campaign

2nd November 2012

Ladies & gentlemen,

Is mór agam a bheith i bhfochair libh anseo inniu ag Feachtas Feasachta Náisiúnta Anamchara – Balún Cuimhnimh. Ba mhaith liom mo bhuíochas a ghabháil le Sharon Vard as ucht cuireadh a chur chugam le bheith in éineacht libh ar maidin agus tá me buíoch le chuile dhuine agaibh as ucht na fíorchaoin fáilte sin.

[I am pleased to be with you here today at Anam Cara’s National Awareness Campaign – A Balloon to Remember. I would like to thank Sharon Vard for inviting me to join you today and all of you for that kind welcome.]

The late John O’Donohue, after whose book of celtic wisdom Anam Cara is named, stated in that book that “All the possibilities of your human destiny are asleep in your soul. You are here to realise and honour these possibilities”. When I was inaugurated as President of Ireland I committed to a presidency that would seek to achieve an inclusive and participative society; one that would recognise the positive initiatives underway in our communities and would realise and celebrate all of our possibilities.

Anam Cara is one such initiative, a truly participative group that is built on the vision that ‘all bereaved families throughout every community in Ireland will have access to the relevant support services they need following the death of a son or daughter’. While the ancient celts saw their anam chara as a spiritual guide, today we often see an anam chara as an unconditional presence, as a listening and deeply understanding companion, as an empathetic escort through a place of deep sorrow. While every bereaved parent’s journey will of course be their own individual journey, it can be the friendship and support of kindred spirits that gives them the strength and energy to keep going, to keep moving forward, to keep putting one foot in front of the other through the darkest of dark days.

Níos deireanaí inniú scaoilfear lear mór balún san aer, gach ceann acu tiomnaithe agus ag seasamh do mhac, d’iníon, do dhearthár, do dheirfiúr, nó do gharmhac no do ghariníon. Ag an tosach beidh na balúin uilig le chéile agus ansin, ag tosú dóibh ar a n-aistir fhéinig tríd an aer, tosóidh siad ag druidim amach óna chéile i dtreo an leithleachais. Bíonn aistir leithleach pearsanta le dhul ag gach teaghlach freisin, agus iad ag triall an chosáin chrua sin ón léan amach go dtí go an áit bhrónach sin ina nglactar le bás an duine óig.

[Many balloons will be released today into the air, each one representing and dedicated to the memory of a beloved son, daughter, brother, sister, grandchild. The balloons will initially cluster together and will then begin to pull away, each one becoming distinct and separate as they begin their own individual journey through the air. For every bereaved family their journey too is a distinct and personal one, as they travel along that difficult pathway from grief to a sad acceptance of their child’s death.]

All of the families gathered here today have, of course, very much in common.
As a group, families who have lost a child are united by a uniquely devastating kind of loss, a loss that can make one feel that the world is indeed a very cruel place. We would hope that every human being has the empathy to imagine the pain and agony of losing a beloved child; of contemplating the cruelty of such a reversal of the natural order of things, of envisioning how terrible the loss of so much potential must be for bereaved parents. However, only those for whom such a loss is a lived reality day after day can truly understand how absolute the sense of loss is and how overwhelming and frightening the rawness of grief feels. But even within that special and mutually supportive group, it is important that we remember that each family will grieve in their own unique way, will undertake their own individual journey through, and hopefully out of, the darkness of losing a beloved child.

Just a few months ago the Report of the Independent Child Death Review Group was published. While the work of this group was focussed solely on the number of vulnerable children who have died in recent years while in the care of the State, it also bore clear witness to the number of lives that are impacted by the death of a child no matter what the circumstances; how that impact can ripple out affecting how bereaved parents and siblings engage with the world and the way they view their own mortality; and how a terrible and often misplaced sense of guilt and blame can so often be the major obstacle on that difficult journey towards acceptance, towards a time when the lost child can be remembered with joy and happiness and with gratitude for all that they brought with them into this world.

The loss of any close friend or relative is, of course, a sad and heartbreaking bereavement but the loss of a child is the most inconsolable of all griefs. However, while there are valuable bereavement support services offered to parents throughout Ireland, there are very few that focus solely on those who have lost a child. Anam Cara fills that gap by specialising in supporting families who have suffered the loss of a beloved son or daughter.
Anam Cara not only creates strong and supportive links between bereaved families. It also develops strong links with other bereavement related services, working in a spirit of partnership and collaboration with a range of other groups including hospitals, hospices, local drug task forces and charities like Barnardos and the Jack and Jill Foundation who also do valuable work to support families in times of difficulty and despair. Anam Cara is also an organisation that gives support without boundaries and has, since 2010, been operating across the entire Island of Ireland recognising that true friendship of the soul transcends all barriers and all cultural differences.
I would like to conclude by thanking and commending all those who give so generously of their time, their skills and their own unique and important experiences to be a true soul friend to families as they come to terms with the greatest loss that any parent can be asked to endure. Through your workshops, fundraising events, bereavement talks, family events and satellite groups you provide enormous practical assistance to all bereaved parents across the island of Ireland. Through such active citizenship, a deep connection is made that lets bereaved parents know that they are not alone, that they are being guided and supported throughout the most difficult journey of their lives; a journey that is individual in essence but is shared in spirit by the many other parents taking their own tentative steps towards acceptance.
It has been an honour to join you here today at the launch of your National Awareness Campaign, a campaign I am confident will raise awareness of the invaluable work you do.
Is cuí go mór é ‘Balún Cuimhnimh’ mar chomhartha maorga ómóis do na páistí atá caillte agaibh, is páistí nach ndéanfar dearmad orthu go deo. Gabhaim buíochas acu siúd uilig a bhí páirteach san ócáid bhrónach dínitiúil tábhachtach seo agus guím síocháin agus sonas ar gach uile duine agaibh feasta.
[‘A Balloon to Remember’ is a truly fitting and dignified tribute to the children you have lost but will never forget. I thank and congratulate all those who have been involved in this poignant but important event and I wish each and every one of you peace and happiness in the future.]
Thank you very much.
Go raibh míle maith agaibh go léir.